Trading "Getting Through" For "Getting To"

Lately I’ve been living by my calendar.

Yes, I always keep a calendar but lately I’ve found my calendar keeping me.

Constantly checking, changing, and challenging the daily agenda.

Peeking into the future days, weeks and months that quickly turn to years in my imagination.

As I make plans, my hopeful tomorrow quickly turns to despair as I begin to wish away the days to come for something more sustainable.

I’ve never wanted to live my life for tomorrow. 

So how can I live in today with a hope for tomorrow?

I want to trade my attitude of “getting through” for an attitude of “I’m getting to."

I’m getting to manage my own calendar. 

I’m getting to expand my capacity.

I’m getting to learn my limits. 

I’m getting to determine my priorities as I make decisions with my time.

I’m getting to perfect the balance of family, friends, church, and relationship at a young age.

Yes, life get's busy. How often are you stuck in the cycle of this conversation?...

“How are you? How have you been?"

"I’m good, I’ve been busy…"

I'm so guilty of this typical response. And I so desperately want to remove that word from my vocabulary. Busy. I get it. We’re all busy. 

Busyness is a filler of time but not an indication of productivity. I want to live a productive life. But how can I keep busyness from overwhelming me? 

I’m learning to take it a day at a time. 

When I look ahead to a busy tomorrow, I attempt to pack today with all the fulfilling things that will get me through the upcoming busyness.

But when a packed today turns into a packed tomorrow, I’m just prolonging the inevitable BUSY.

The busy weeks become all too familiar and quickly turn to busy seasons before we know it.

I don’t like who I am in busy seasons. 

I need pause.

I need rest.

I need slow. 

The busy seasons aren’t bad. But they’re bad for me when I let myself get caught up in an emotional affair with them.